Today is yet another day when I wake up thinking ” another day alive ” I say it grateful because not existing is my biggest fear, I’m constantly thinking about the fear of dying and no existing anymore, not being in this eart and not being anywhere anymore, I try my best to have a religious view of an after life thinking this will calm me down but is hard for me to think about it. I feel like after you die unless you are someone famous , just like you, the memories of you will eventually disappeared, nobody will remember me or talk about me, Maybe that’s why I try so hard and dream on being someone big , on achieving big goals, to stay present in peoples minds and people memories.

i found myself looking outside , at my dogs or my boyfriend and thinking ” I’m alive, enjoyed it ” but then the thought of “one day I won’t ” abruptly interrupts my peace.

ive share my thoughts with people and they say ” that’s not the way to live life” like I wanted or choose to be scared, I don’t; I want to be fine and live life peacefully and not be scare of what would be next. I try my best everyday, and even though some days I feel stronger than others, still haven’t found my peace completely