When I heard the news of Hunna’s terminal cancer I started to prepare for her death. I said I wouldn’t be able to leave the bed and probably would drink a bunch of cough medicine just to sleep through the pain. When the day arrived I couldn’t sleep at all, didn’t take any cough maldice and the next day I asked to get out of the house and do something to keep my mind busy

The days after she died I thought I would never recover, I would never be able to talk about her without crying, but now I do, now I can talk about her and smile.

When she died I said I didn’t know how long would it be before I could get another dog, that I felt the pain would last for many years.

But I miss having a loyal companion, I miss loving just as much as I loved Hunna.

Almost 3 months after her death I applied to adopt a puppy and got approved

when I read the email “ approved” I felt a burst of happiness but soon after the thought of “ replacement” invaded my mind.

Thinking about replacing Hunna is as ridiculous as it sounds, because if something I know for sure is that I will never love another animal the way I loved Hunna, she was my first and will forever be my first.

So now I am just a mixture of feelings, between happiness and grief, excitement and guilt, hope and fear…

Would this new puppy replace Hunna? NEVER

Would this new puppy fill my heart with joy and happiness amid all this pain? I hope so…