Life has many crucial moments when everything just changes and nothing is like it was before.

I have many of those “crucial” moments: When I moved to the US, when I met my boyfriend when Hunna died, and when my boyfriend said: “I think its time for you to seek help, I’m worried about you”

For many years my sister was the only one who knew about my night terrors until I met my boyfriend and we started to spend nights together, of course, since I have no control over my night terrors, he witnessed many of these.

He learned quickly what to do, hug me, calms me down, put me back to sleep.

Every night, for years, he did this multiple times, sometimes 5 times a night, hug me, tell me to calm down, put me back to sleep.

But the night terrors got worst, sometimes I couldn’t be hugged because I was jumping out of bed, shaking and screaming. Sometimes he couldn’t tell me to calm down because I was pulling my hair in despair. Sometimes he couldn’t put me back to sleep because I was too scared to close my eyes.

And it was then, when I looked at his face, he was scared, looking at me, with no idea of what to do or what to say, just looking at me. I knew I needed help.

I know I did this for me, but I know too that I also did it for him, so he could sleep in peace at night. I did it for my sister, so we could have sleepovers without her having to wake up and calm me down. I even did it for my pets who would wake up scared in the middle of the night because of my loud outburst of fear.

I knew I needed help when those who were here to help me couldn’t do it anymore.

Two Truths and a Lie About Anxiety, BY FUELEDFITFOCUSED@GMAIL.COM