Categories
mental health

To the ones I lost and the ones I got

Since I opened about my mental health, many things have changed with my social life, not like I had a big one but is different from months ago.

To those go used to hug me and say they love me , to those who used to say I could always count on you when I need it ( but the moment I did need you, you disappeared) to those who called themselves my friends and pretended to care about me but today are gone: Thank you, for showing me the real face of the world and how unfortunately you never know somebody completely, how so many times you believe they are your friends but they don’t even know what that means.

To those who many days acted like they would be there for me but today are not even able to call and ask how am I doing, to those who told me “ I’m here for you” but now that they know my mental health challenges haven’t talk to me since the day I opened up to the world: thank you, for leaving my life and giving space for better and real people, real friends

I will miss some moments I had with you and probably will still have to see you , but trust me, I wont ask you again for help, I wont reach out to you when I need someone to talk to, I wont believe when you say you love me or you are my friends, because you don’t even believe those words

I hope you never need a hug, I hope you never need somebody to talk so bad while you cry your eyes out, I hope you are never going through a depressive crisis and wish a friend would visit you or ask you to go out.
I hope you never feel the same way you made me feel.

To those who life gave me, those who appeared out of nowhere or out of the past, those who text me at night asking if I’m doing okay, asking me how am I feeling and if I’m having a good day, those who stay with me 6 hours in the phone talking until I’m ready to sleep, those who help me to breath through my panic attacks and promise me everything will be alright: THANK YOU. (Ale)

Thank you for giving me life , for giving me friendship, for helping me not to feel alone , thank you for giving me hope that there is people who cares about me in this world, That there is people that I can text or call and they will be there for me at least to tell me everything is okay

Thank you to the friend who cares because I feel loved, thank you to the one who doesn’t care too, because it makes me realize with who I should spend my time, thank you to the friend that ask how am I doing because I feel like I’m important, thank you to the one who ignored me when I reached out for help, because I made me stronger.

Thank you to the ones who left and the ones who arrived, because both of you, in your own way, made me who I am. I am better, I am capable, I have people who loves me and people who I do not need them to love me. And that is fine, I am fine.